Grief, Gratitude and Gadgets - 3 Things That Define Me

I'm at the park with 5 of my 12 grandchildren and their father (step to 3, biological to 2).  While I'm helping the 17 month old climb up the play equipment, I strike up a conversation with a mother.   "Your children are lovely, but what a handful!"  "Thanks", I reply, "but I'm Grandma". "Oh, but you don't look old enough to be a grandmother!"  Are you giving their mum a break?  That's a lovely thing to do."  Is she working or just having a nice rest?" I pause before replying.  I could just agree with her and change the subject, but my 9 year old granddaughter is standing nearby and I don't want to lie. "Actually no, she died". "Oh.....I'm sorry to hear that."  The poor woman is flustered.  I don't blame her.  She was just being friendly.  That was the last thing she expected to hear. And it's the truth.  Louise died suddenly in August 2021, just nine weeks after giving birth to he...

I used to be the backup but not anymore.  I've lived with my daughter for pretty much all of her life and I know her kid's routines very well.  If she had to go out I stayed home with the kids. When she was having babies I took time off to be at home and look after her and them.  Now that she's gone we have no backup and I'm doing more housework and childcare than I've done in years.  Those who know me well know that I'm SO not a fan of cleaning so that’s been an uphill climb! I used to have the luxury of being able to sew and sleep on the weekends but that's over now too. I don't begrudge any of it though, as it's given me the opportunity to know her husband and children more deeply, and I've developed a pretty good work/home routine that works well for everyone. I'm grateful that I've been able to increase my responsibilities without too much adjustment, although the added work and brain power needed does take away from time when I ju...